No items found.
The happiest couples are not doing anything extraordinary typically. They are simply prioritizing their relationship in small ways daily. Here are 4 things I have witnessed in my 30 + years of working with couples that stand out as helpful to the happiness of the relationship.
1- Happy couples prioritize CHECK INS.
This is a time every day that they turn to each other to simply see how they are doing as a couple. Maybe someone got upset earlier in the day or another misinterpreted a comment. They will turn to each other, rather than simmer and build resentment. It is just a small time period of time around 15-30 minutes when couples ask how they are doing or repair an incident rather than letting it fester. They are doing emotional maintenance instead of crisis management. It can be a conversation on what one partner is needing, sharing of a gratitude, or resolving a difference.
2- They PLAY together and separately.
Happy couples share playful moments, are goofy with one another, and make efforts at lighthearted moments to laugh. They might set aside time for a board game or cards or simply a race in the pool or an impromptu dance in the kitchen. Maybe they leave a note on the mirror or take a walk after dinner. They laugh and are authentic with one another, making it incredibly easier to emotionally and physically connect.
They also play separately, making time for selves with friends, reading a book or doing projects they enjoy. They do not expect each other to meet all their needs. They are rejuvenated and ready to reconnect with one another. They realize spending too much time together can cause friction.
3- They create meaningful RITUALS.
Happy couples develop shared routines and rhythms together. They may make a brunch on the weekends, go to trivia weekly, or simply light a candle before dinner. They may watch a game show every night - competing to answer, have a coffee together in the morning or simply a quick snuggle before starting their day. They start and end their day with physical touch - hug or kiss. Each making effort to let the other know their importance. They remember what it is like to want to come home and be together.
4- They prioritize intimacy.
Happy couples want their partner to feel important. They know the research shows that sexual intimacy is vital in relieving stress and preventing disconnection. They also realize emotional intimacy leads to more sexual intimacy. Therefore they send that flirty text or compliment their partner. They ask questions like, “what was the best part of your day?”....taking it a level deeper than “how was your day?” They hold hands or touch as they enter or leave a room. All intentional efforts to make their partner feel seen and known.
The bottom line is good relationships and happy couples don’t just happen. But they aren't doing anything extraordinary. They just put the work in daily and make it a habit. These habits make for insurance for a strong connection and solid future.